Definition of a Cult

 

No Bullying - Don't goad people into revealing their identity.

 In the last six to seven months, I have observed a common tactic at HOA meetings to bully people that don't agree with the majority. I have stated this a number of times. Goading people to identify themselves rather than staying anonymous on this blog is bullying in my book. Don't do it. If you identify yourself, I will review the content of your message carefully and delete it if I consider it inappropriate for the tone of this blog.

A Few Tips to Have Better Conversations: H E A R

Lots of opportunity in this article to help us all build a strong community, a stronger world.

To have better disagreements, change your words – here are 4 ways to make your counterpart feel heard and keep the conversation going

If you can't hit the link, let me know and I'll post a copy of the text.

2024 Annual HOA Meeting

 

This post is purely opinion and reaction to events at the meeting, which was primarily a well-orchestrated attack to discredit me as a board candidate. I looked back at the board minutes a number of years and this year was the first time an item was published on the agenda to designate a slot for people to  share their “concerns” about candidates. In my opinion, this was a bullying tactic fully intended to attack me so I knew what I was in for.

David McPhearson, re-elected to the board this year, even sent me a “shame on you” email and told me he was going to speak against me. I did not respond to his email. Ya gotta wonder what makes the board so angry at being questioned and criticized. Is it a threat to their power, their egos? Hmmm.

Thanks to those who voted for me. Even though I would not have been able to effectively represent you because the majority of the board would have continued their bullying of anyone who would present an independent position that was not in line with theirs, but I would have tried my best.

I joined an organization called Braver Angels (https://braverangels.org/) back in 2015-16 when our country became so divided over issues and interactions with  our fellow Americans became so difficult. I have practiced Braver Angels strategies of respectful engagement communication with great enthusiasm and success. I have been able to find common ground with so many people. Below are the core principles of respectful and productive engagements that are taught by the Braver Angels organization.

Years ago when Sue was president of the HOA I volunteered for the yard of the month committee. I was treated with great disrespect, not by Sue who made a strong effort to “fix” whatever the problem was. But I walked away; I chose not to get in the fight.

But my concern for sustainable, biodiverse landscaping brought me back to try again. After attempting to volunteer for the help with landscaping efforts at the June 2023 board meeting and being sucked into a shouting match that made my head swim, I began attending HOA board meeting. What I observed and heard made me realize none of the skills of communication I have practiced my whole life would prove successful with the majority of the Donahue-controlled).

Many examples of an unwillingness to engage in respectful conversations were displayed at the annual meeting. Carl Fisher stated that “when Mark talks, I stop listening.” The personal attacks made by Jim Donahue (and others) at the annual meeting, as well as at monthly meetings, have become normalized and accepted by the HOA board president and majority of board members.

At the annual meeting, Matthias Schmid bullied me on why I don’t talk at the monthly meetings. One, I have tongue cancer and talking is often challenging; two, I don’t engage in shouting matches; and three, I have observed the HOA board long enough to know that anything I would say, any idea, any offer of volunteer service, any correction of information, any sharing of expertise and knowledge would fall on deaf ears and incite more bullying.

Someone at the annual meeting challenged all of the board candidates to take a loyalty oath and to support all board decisions. Really? I stated that I support democracy and have been doing so all my life. However, I will never vote in lock-step with a decision that I deem illegal or unethical. And I won’t be bullied into silence.